#sahm life

[darkmothsy]

I live for hair days

[awkwardlovergirll]

🥰🥰🥰🥰

[sewgeekmama]

What a Stay at Home Mom Really Wants for a Gift

I know we have just left gift-giving season, but there are plenty of other holidays ahead so maybe one husband will read this and if I can help one mom, I’ll be happy. I’ve tried to explain this to my own husband, but it isn’t really working. I think guys are more wrapped up in something tangible, and what a mom really wants, at least this mom, is the gift of time. So how do you gift…

[thebellekeys]

the white trad wife girlies piss me off because they say things like "i really miss when women could be stay-at-home moms and get married and have babies and be fEmiNinE instead of having to go to college and work a job" like... you can still do that? you can literally still live your 1950s dream life? go find that man sis! but leave the rest of us the fuck out of it.

[femininedating]

𝑷𝑶𝑽: 𝒀𝒐𝒖'𝒓𝒆 𝒂 𝑾𝒆𝒂𝒍𝒕𝒉𝒚 𝑯𝒐𝒖𝒔𝒆𝒘𝒊𝒇𝒆 ♡

[girliestgirlmom]

if being married offends you, if choosing to have kids offends you, if choosing to be there for them instead of other alternatives to child care truly offends you, then sorry I guess you'll have to stay offended. 🤷🏻‍♀️

Moms will keep being moms if they choose to, and wives will keep being wives if they also choose to.

🎀💍🎀

[mod2amaryllis]

do you think you will go back to work when the Child is like, in school, or is it goodbye forever? personally I've never found a job I feel passionate about so I would be happy never working again lol but I feel a little sad for you that you have to pick between passion and parenthood (which isn't a criticism of your choice I'm sure it makes sense).

absolutely leaving the option open down the line but as sad as i am, i think once my kid is physically here, i won't miss work so much. pregnancy is too nebulous,, like my body is working hard but that just translates to needing rest, which doesn't FEEL productive. i like being productive. but I'm not a career guy either. the more I've cut my hours at work over the last few years, the happier I've been.

but yeah, still, i have settled into my passion for vet med. I'm the fucking Guy at work, even with all my pregnancy limitations I'm still the Guy, i asked my manager if they had interviews lined up to replace me and she was just like "you can't be replaced." that level of validation is hard to walk away from. it's given me the confidence that i can be the Guy at anything i choose to do, including being a mom, but it's not as far reaching as helping animals in my community. it's just different. it's also different leaving work when my relationship with it is the best it's ever been, vs 3 years ago when i almost quit cuz things were SOOO bad. and a big part of why the environment is better is a direct result of my efforts over the years, so there's a sense of investment. ah well and like, just,,, any big change is gonna involve grief.

but I'm listening to jose laugh his ass off at baby tiktoks while i pee for the 6th time before bed and i really really really know that home is where i wanna be. just gonna be a little sad at first.

[abroadlifeactually]

The Soft Life or Slightly Cushioned?

I find myself contemplating what the “soft life” really means? During a conversation with one of my good friends from back home she said “girl, just embrace the soft life”. I was stunned for a minute, because nothing about my life at the moment felt soft. Is this the soft life!?!?Because it didn’t feel very soft. It hadn’t even occurred to me that it could be labeled that way.  I was a full-time housewife who’s free time was spent cleaning. I started looking into what exactly constituted a “soft life”. Quickly I realized, that label was being used very generally for vastly different ways of life. For example, there are stay at home moms (SAHM), and there are stay at home moms with nannies and/or housekeepers, and those two moms are living very different lives. At the time I was living the former.

When we first moved into our apartment, I was the main caregiver of Sunbeam, with help from my husband who is a very active dad. I was also solely responsible for all of the house upkeep, luckily my husband likes to cook and grocery shop so I had help with that part. This was the most grueling work I’ve ever done, and I worked in PR in NYC, and at a non-profit with what felt like 60% turnover. There were no breaks, no downtime, and you are plugged in 24 hours a day. The only time to myself was in the bathroom, which had to be quick because the Sunbeam is very active, and eventually that became similar to an open floor plan. I was exhausted and would crash immediately after Sunbeam went down. Nothing about that felt soft to me. There are people out in the world who would love this life, but being a housewife was never my dream. As a former professional woman, I found it much more challenging than any office job I’ve ever had.

After a few months of living in a haze, we finally sought help. A friend advised us to tear numbers off flyers on the grocery store bulletin board to find a nanny/help, which sounded crazy to me. Turns out it’s a legitimate way to find help here, so we did. We also joined facebook groups and put up help wanted posts. Eventually we found our nanny/housekeeper who changed my life. She works part-time so I’m still with Sunbeam most of the time, but now I have someone to help with the upkeep of the house, and allows me to go to appts, run errands, etc without having to pack a bag and drag my stroller onto trains and busses.

I will admit this is definitely a “softer” life, and affords me the flexibility in my life to do more self-care and things such as blogging, and working out, which is nice and necessary. However, my life does not look like what Tik Tok demonstrates as the soft life. There are no trips to chanel, or champagne brunches. My cupboard is not neatly laid out with monochromatic jars, and no matter how much we clean the apartment is always covered in toys, crushed cheerios, and whatever Sunbeam gets into. I’m still not convinced that I am living the soft life, certainly not as shown on social media. So maybe I’m living a slightly cushioned life??

I am grateful for the life that I have now, and I realize that flexibility is very privileged and that I live a life that some may desire. I love being home with Sunbeam and I wouldn’t change that for the world, but there are always challenges. Being a SAHM doesn’t feel like less work or soft work, but different work. And it’s very easy to lose your identity and feel bored and lonely, especially when living abroad. Daily meal planning (three healthy meals and two snacks) and creating an educational environment for a toddler all day with no attention span is not easy. The closet that I passionately curated over the course of several years now sits still, and is quickly being replaced by shirts with built-in bras, birkenstocks, and jogging pants. You dress for comfort and stains, which leads to fewer excuses to indulge in shopping like I would have previously. I can only speak for my experience, which might be different since I live abroad and my nanny only works part-time. But when I check-in with the fellow expat housewives in my little cohort, they all express similar sentiments so it’s not just me.

I understand the desire and the benefits to living this way, so my words aren’t meant to dissuade, but to just give perspective. From what I can see, unless you have unlimited amounts of money and a partner who doesn’t mind how you spend it, then if I am living what is considered a soft life, then it doesn’t look the way it’s shown on social media. At least if you have kids.

[proverbs31princesse]

Racking up library hours bc my degrees will look so ✨ pretty ✨ on my husband’s wall.

[simple-and-cozy-life]

[crazycatsiren]

Apparently, according to the cats, it is animal abuse to make yourself a sandwich for lunch and not share any deli meat with the creatures.

[femininedating]

The Housewife Life ♡

Being a housewife is the dream to many women (me included)

Most married, rich women do not work. Their husbands are the breadwinners.

They CHOOSE not to work. They are not oppressed. They are not ruled by abandonment or trust issues. They are not afraid. They are not being forced or abused. They are not miserable. They do not feel they are setting women back. They do not miss working. They CHOOSE to be housewives/sahm over having careers. They fully embrace & prefer gender roles. They don't feel 'held back'. They are living their BEST lives.

Feminist love to spread fear about being a housewife, stay at home mom or "depending on your own man to provide" .

Being a housewife ≠ abuse.

Contrary to popular belief, being a housewife does not automatically mean you're going to get abused or left broke with nothing. Actually women who have sole or breadwinning husbands are less abused and least likely to get divorced. (look up the actual stats & facts) And don’t let me get started on who leaves divorces “financially struggling”. It’s the women who work full time not just financially illiterate housewives(this is because it’s a financial literacy issue not an income issue)

Being a housewife ≠ broke.

A housewife can still build wealth without working for income! (Financial literacy is a must)

Some women actually want to be housewives and full time mothers. Given the chance, a lot of women would love this lifestyle but unfortunately they have fear forced down their throats. A lot of women are secretly yearning to stay at home...

Being a housewife is not an oppressive role. It is not a step down or a step back. It is a wonderful, fulfilling lifestyle women should feel free to choose just like pursuing a career.

[heymstiff]

💖🎀Do Not Chase a Man💖🎀

I’ve read some books, done a lot of research and inner work, tapped into my femininity to understand as a woman we do not chase or look for a man, but a man chase and looks for a woman.

I came across this analogy that women are the employer and men are the employee and the company is the marriage and men are interviewing for their position as a husband within that marriage and women decides if the man is worthy of being hired for the position.

It is a man’s role to impress a woman, not the other way around. Think of yin and yang, push and pull, give and receive. Men are the givers and women are the receivers.

A woman should never chase after a man it degrades a woman’s confidence and self worth. When a woman chases a man she will never know if that man is truly interested in her and is not just settling or passing time while pursuing the woman he truly wants. This will create doubt in a woman and deteriorate her self confidence and she will become insecure within herself.

Moral of this story is tap into your femininity and don’t ever chase a man 💅🏾

[septembersung]

I have accomplished things today. At this exact moment I’m not sure what they are but I’m positive I did things. Some. A few. Surely I must have. In the last ten hours.

[girliestgirlmom]

Babies aren't babies forever;

I don't know who needed to hear this today, but the people who think babies are only burdens probably don't realize they do a magical thing that's called growing up; Maybe one day you too will grow.

and for the moms struggling out there know there is always light!

[opiumophelia]

20 weeks OB appointment today for our boy 🫶

44G in 3X bralette